garden beneath the sky

Dear Logan: Nine Months!

2012-01-25T10:42:00.000-05:00

Just a little late...

Dear Logan

December 29, 2011

Every month seems to bring so many new things! This last month has been really busy with lots of shopping, traveling, and your first Christmas! You’ve been sick again and you’ve weaned from nursing and now are on formula full time. And OMG you are mobile!

You can sit for a really long time and love to play with your toys while sitting up. You can reach out to grab things without falling over and have pretty good balance. You can’t quite figure out how to get from sitting to your belly, and you get frustrated when things are out of your reach. You are really working on the army crawl. You were rolling and scooting to get where you wanted to be, but now you can army crawl from one side of the room to the other with surprising speed. You haven’t gotten your belly off the floor to crawl yet, but you are starting to pull yourself up on things and now and then you get on your hands and knees and it looks like you’re trying to figure it all out. You still love to jump, but we have to shorten the doorway jumper so you can jump in it. I’m not sure why it’s so long, but when you are in it, it sinks to far for you to be able to jump anymore.

You have five teeth, with 2-3 more ready to come in. You have your top two side teeth, and three of your bottom teeth. Your other bottom side tooth is ready to come in, along with your middle top teeth. You have been doing pretty well with solids, but at the beginning of the month you got a double ear infection and weren’t too interested in solids for about 2 weeks. You ate pretty well at daycare, but at home in the evenings it was all we could do to get you to eat anything. You do LOVE cheerios and puffs! You eat handfuls at a time all by yourself! You’ve been playing with bigger chunks of real food, but aside from some mashed banana, you haven’t really eaten any of it. You have become a fan of gumming green beans and sugar snap peas, which I think make your gums feel better. You also like your teething biscuits and mum mums, which are little rice crackers. We still have to mix veggies with fruits for you to eat them. Hopefully you will outgrow this. Bananas are your favorite, hands down! You’ve also come to LOVE yogurt! We started you on baby yogurt, but you love mama’s Chobani greek yogurt too!

Your double ear infection gave daddy and I a lot of time to worry. You ran a high fever on and off for a few days and were just really snuggly and almost lethargic. You were eating okay, but I took you to urgent care on Saturday (12/4) after a high fever and a few hours of not eating, not peeing and just being really off from your usual self. They said it was teething pain. But we were back at the doctor’s on Tuesday and you were diagnosed with the double ear infection. You had a mild rash from the amoxicillin, so they switched you to azithromycin. It worked and you didn’t have a reaction to it, but it gave you the worst poop ever, which lasted all month!!! We switched you to disposables and brought out the super strength diaper cream.

We are officially done nursing! I’m pretty sad about this, but you have handled it like a champ. One day you fell asleep early before I nursed you, and I realized I hadn’t nursed your that morning or pumped all day. The next day was busy and I debated letting you wean or trying to drag it out a few more days. It didn’t seem to bother you either way, and I figured it would be easier on me if I just let it go. We still snuggle and I am quite selfish about doing your bedtime routine myself most nights. I also don’t pass you around too much for your bottles. I like to feed you myself most of the time, so that we still get that quiet snuggle time in.

You talk all the time. It’s awesome! You have a lot of sounds. You mimic us sometimes, and other times you just yammer on like you’re having a conversation with yourself. It’s adorable! No real words yet, except the occasional mama and dada. It’s hard to say if you are really using them purposefully or not, but either way, I’m marking mama as your first word and dada as your second. You get excited when I’m holding you and we go on a hunt through the house for dada, so I think you know what they mean.

This month also marked an important first – your first Christmas!! We went hunting for a Christmas Tree for Grandma Brenda and Grandpa Doug’s house with Daddy, Uncle Gary and Aunt Gayle. It was cold, but a fun trip. We didn’t have a Christmas Tree at home this year. It was pretty busy and we spent almost every weekend away from home. We spent December 23 at Grandpa Doug and Grandma Brenda’s house, then went to Albany on Christmas Eve for some festivities with Grandpa Dave and Grandma Vicki. You had so much fun opening presents and playing with the wrapping paper and boxes. You got some great toys that you love to play with and a few that you will grow into. Christmas was very magical this year with you in our lives.

Love, Mommy

my first half

2012-01-24T09:21:00.000-05:00

So, yeah, I am registered for my first half marathon. The panic has not quite set in yet, but I do still have 15 weeks, so I'm sure it will come in due time. I chose the Binghamton Bridge Run on May 6. It's fairly flat, close to home, and seemed like a good choice for my first half. Two of Eric's cousins are running it as well, although they will probably be finishing as I'm hitting the 10k mark. I'm excited and nervous and slightly nauseated to know that I have no choice but to run this race, as there are no refunds or transfers once you register.

I've run 12 miles before, but never anything longer than that. It was kind of accidental that I ran that far - I went out for 6 miles, was feeling good so I took a different route back expecting to round out at 9 miles, but got lost. This was back when I lived in Rochester and mapped out my runs on google maps before leaving the house. I'd put the turns and distance to each turn on a sticky note and tuck it in my pocket or glove if it was winter with a little prayer that I wouldn't lose it. I knew enough of Rochester to have a general idea where I was, but not to know distances or specific streets. Now I have a smartphone with a map at my fingertips, along with gps tracking my route, distance and pace.

This has been an unfulfilled goal of mine for so long. It's about time I got my butt in gear.

4 miles and a half marathon

2012-01-23T13:01:00.000-05:00

Sunday I got out for a 4 miler. It said the "feels like" temp was 9 degrees, but it really felt warmer than that. It was sunny out, and the wind wasn't too bad. Eric, Logan and I drove to my in-laws Sunday morning and I hung out for a while until Logan went down for a nap. As soon as he was asleep, I took off out the door. I have been having good luck with the mapmyrun app on my phone, but for some reason it doesn't want to save my workouts. The safest, easiest route to run from the house is and out and back to another road. I was told that it was exactly 1.5 miles to the intersection, but when I clocked it on my gps, it read 1.75. That explained a lot of ridiculously long walk/run times in the past. I ran past the intersection to make it to 2 miles, then turned around. I took a 2 min break at the halfway point, and walked half of the steep hill on the way back (about 2 mins worth) but other than that I ran. The road wasn't great and the shoulders were snow-covered, but I was able to run on the road for most of the run except for a few spots with poor visibility for oncoming traffic. I'm a little sore today, but not too bad.

4 miles
43 minutes
hilly, sunny, partially snow covered.

Oh, and I registered for my first half marathon.

some recent favorites

2012-01-21T22:41:00.000-05:00

Some of my favorite recent photographs of Logan!

back before Christmas, after opening his first present, sent from Grandma C

"all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth!" I'm not sure why Logan's front teeth didn't come in first, but it made for a month of looking at Logan's goofy grin!

Why sit in my play center, when I could crawl through it!

playtime

bundled up to go downtown

getting a jump start on technology!

my favorite spot!

one of his front teeth popped through, waiting on the other one.

Logan figured out how to sit up on his own in his crib! Time to lower the mattress. Isn't that the most adorable face to see when you walk in a room?

check out my new duds! overalls from Grandma B.

reading a book!

the worst days

2012-01-19T11:47:00.000-05:00

Most days I don't mind going to work. I see Logan in the morning and play with him while I get ready. I pick him up and we have a few hours when we get home before I put him to bed. I had no choice but to leave work by 4:55 each day, since Eric was coaching and I had to make it to daycare on time. Now that Eric isn't coaching, he can pick Logan up. He usually does on Tuesdays and Thursdays which are my later days at work. But when things come up at work, as they often do, I am finding myself getting stuck at work later some nights.

Yesterday Logan was sleeping in the morning (he woke early to eat and play, then took an early nap) so I had to wake him to leave for daycare. Then I had a work issue to deal with, so Eric picked Logan up. I got home at 6:30 and Logan was sleeping. He was really out, so I change his diaper, put his PJ's on and gave him a bottle without him ever really waking up. I barely saw him yesterday. Today will be the same, since I will be on the road this afternoon for work and won't make it home until 6:30 again.

These are the days that make me hate being a working mom. I hate not seeing Logan and getting to play with him and hearing him talk. I wish I had stayed up when I got up early yesterday to play with Logan, but I didn't expect to be late. He is growing and changing so quickly and it kills me to know that the woman who watches him knows more about what he's doing day to day than I do.

On the plus side, my parents are visiting this weekend and I am going to flex some time to make up for my extra hours this week, so I will get some extra cuddle time. I know that it's just a bad week and next week will be better, but it's still taking a toll on me.

when to run...

2012-01-18T09:48:00.000-05:00

Running 4 miles isn't that big of a deal for me. But I also have my sights set on doing a half marathon this spring as well. Just running on the weekends won't quite cut it when it comes to logging mileage, even if I am working out and using the stationary bike at home during the week. I don't make it home before it gets dark out, so I thought I'd give another shot at running in the morning. If I'm on the road by 6am, I can get 3 miles in an make it home in time for Eric to leave for work. I'm not a morning person, but I thought I would give it a shot anyway. I set out all of my clothes last night in the order I put them on. Everything was ready to go. I set my alarm for 5:40 and actually woke up when it went off. The problem was that it was dark out. Sunrise isn't until 7:33, and while it's light out earlier than that, it's not light enough for me to run at 6am. I'm guessing I have about another month before there is enough light to run in the mornings. Maybe tonight I'll drive the route I usually run from my house (a 3 mile lollipop loop) and see if there are street lights the whole way. There is a really wide, flat shoulder and the visibility for cars is pretty good. It's about half a mile until I get into a small town, where I know there are street lights. There is a main road that bypasses the village, so there isn't a lot of thru traffic. Maybe I can make it work with some blinky lights and reflective tape, at least once or twice a week.

Last night I did 30 minutes on the stationary bike. It felt great and I didn't get too stir crazy like I usually do when I use the bike or treadmill. I watched TV and checked facebook and google reader on my phone during the commercials. Tonight will be more of the same.

registered

2012-01-17T14:47:00.000-05:00

I just registered for a 4 mile race on St. Patrick's Day. I'm psyched.

The last week I've been battling a cold, so I haven't been working out. I've been trying to stay on track with my diet, and tracking everything I eat. I really can't say enough about how writing down everything I eat makes a big difference. I've been using the myfitnesspal app to track what I eat and my workouts. Seeing how quickly the calories add up here and there really makes me think twice about what I eat. I've been eating green beans, sugar snap peas, and green peppers when I need something with a crunch. It really does fall to the veggies and fruit to add volume to my meals.

Last night I got on the stationary bike and told myself that if I wasn't feeling it I could stop after 10 minutes. I gave it a hard effort, and my legs were tired after, but I did stop after 10 minutes. Tonight I'm planning on 20 minutes on the bike and the 30 Day Shred. I'm holding steady at 8 pounds lost, so I need to keep pushing through. I ordered the Ripped in 30 DVD by Jillian Michaels, so I can add some more variety to my workouts. I hate how monotonous the 30 Day Shred is when you do it day after day.

I really want to get a run in, but with Logan not feeling well and the single-digit temps this weekend, it just wasn't in the cards for us. I was on my own this weekend, since Eric went to his parents early Saturday and came home late afternoon on Sunday.

busy, busy

2012-01-12T14:31:00.000-05:00

Logan started with a runny, snotty nose at the end of last week. It turned into a cold and I suspected an ear infection. The pediatrician confirmed at Logan's 9 month appointment today that he has another double ear infection. He's also cutting 4 teeth. I knew 2 were on their way in, but didn't see the other 2 side teeth. He's doing well in spite of this, but stayed home Monday and yesterday. I thought he was getting better Tuesday, but he was running a fever by the time I picked him up from day care. Eric and I both have colds, since Logan spent the weekend sneezing on both of us.

Other than that, he's doing great. He's right on track. He weighed in at 23 pounds 2 ounces, though he hasn't been eating much the last few days, so I imagine he'll pack on some ounces quickly when he's feeling better. He's 29.75 inches tall and he has a big head. (I don't remember the measurement). We skipped his vaccine today since he's not feeling well. He's meeting all his milestones and is otherwise healthy.

At the next appointment we'll have to discuss getting tubes put in his ears. As a kid I had chronic ear infections and no one ever told my parents about the option to put tubes in. Because of that I have a little hearing loss and it affected my speech. (Ear infections + tongue tie = 2 years speech therapy). I'm mixed on this, but it's a pretty minor procedure and I'd rather take preventive steps now, than try to fix other problems down the road.

I haven't worked out since last weekend since I've been sick and busy taking care of Logan (plus a little bit lazy) but I'm still tracking everything I eat every day. It's paying off and I'm down 8 pounds since Dec 27. Only 18 pounds to go. I'm going to try and get in a couple workouts and runs over the next few days. I'm hoping to take advantage of the 3 day weekend to get a couple runs in. The biggest issue with running is just finding enough daylight hours to get them in. Logan is cozy in the jogger with the weather shield if we run together. I can also opt to run on my own and leave him with Eric or Eric's parents if we are their house for the weekend.

bullet points

2012-01-04T21:53:00.000-05:00

Operation lose the baby weight is well underway. I've been at it for about a week and I've worked out almost every day. Tonight it was hard to get motivated, but I got going and feel so much better now!
Tracking everything (and I really mean everything) is blowing my mind. No wonder I never lost the rest of the weight. I would estimate that I ate about an extra 400 to 800 calories a day in snacks and candy. (Right after Logan was born Easter came and I got gigantic piles of candy, which was followed by many trips to the bulk candy aisle at Wegmans. I tried to cut back, but then we resumed a new batch of therapy groups with the kids at work and I got the toughest group and have to bribe them with candy, so I went back to making multiple trips to the bulk candy aisle. Now I'm buying chewy candy that I don't like or won't eat because of my teeth - starburst, tootsie rolls, jolly ranchers...)
I've been keeping to my calorie limit each day and have been trying to replace only half of what I burn during workouts to get the weight loss going. I'm feeling pretty good.
I've registered for a 4 mile race on St. Patty's Day. My sister in law is running with me, and we'll be trailing a few minutes behind two of Eric's cousins.
I downloaded an alarm clock app for my smartphone that has a setting where you have to correctly answer a math question (or multiple questions) in order to snooze or to turn it off. Maybe I will finally start getting up on time.
If I'm lucky I get 2 hours with Logan in the evenings, so I need to get my act together so that I have some time with him in the morning too.
Logan is crawling! It's still army style, but he's moving along like a big boy! He hasn't figured out how to get from sitting to his belly, since his leg gets stuck in front of him. He's starting to figure out that he can pull up on things. He doesn't get a ton of floor/crawling time at daycare, because the other kids can be rambunctious, so we're trying to make sure he gets lots of time at home. He got some foam playmat squares for Christmas and a bunch of toys, so his skills are really getting fine tuned.
The boy loves anything that rolls and his stacking cups. (It sounded bad to write that he loves balls. Although hopefully he'll love sports as much as Eric and I do.)
I'm late on Logan's 9 month letter, but I'm working on it.

How's everyone out there doing?

2012

2012-01-01T16:43:00.001-05:00

So 2012 is here. Time flew by, as I'm sure it's going to continue to do now that Logan has joined our lives. I don't have a planned out recap of the last year, or thought out goals for this year. I want to get more fit, run the 4miler in March and a half marathon sometime this year. I want to be focused on Logan and Eric. Clean more, play hard and turn off the TV and computers. I want to organize our house, babyproof, and get a few projects done.

Here's to a new year. It started with a lazy day at home with my boys, a 5k run, and 45 degree temps with no snow. Doesn't get better than than that.

Day 3

2011-12-29T22:05:00.001-05:00

I'm quite sore from the shred workout last night. I feel it in my.thighs, hips and abs. It feels good to be workout-sore. I took tonight off from working out so I don't burn out so early on. I have a half day tomorrow and then a three day weekend so I'm planning a couple runs. I really don't know how I forgot that I really do enjoy working out.

I did eat well today despite being on the road for work. I made ok food choices, but logged everything I ate and didn't go over my daily calories by too much. On a side note I will probably never eat a subway cookie again since they have over 200 calories each! I knew they weren't healthy but I didn't know they were that bad. I also made stirfry tonight. I thought I had rice but I didn't so I used orzo instead. It worked out so well and I'd definitely make it again.

Logan stayed home with Eric and they built towers and knocked them down. Logan got a toy cell phone for Christmas and already drained the batteries. I'm a little envious of their boy time. At least I get out of work early tomorrow and have another long weekend. Lots of play time and snuggle time.

Day 2

2011-12-28T22:24:00.003-05:00

Operation lose the baby weight right now because I spent the last 9 months eating reeses pb cups and snuggling my little one on the couch is well underway.
Tonight I did level 1 of the 30 day shred followed by 15 mins on the stationary bike. I logged everything I ate (even the pb cups). And I went to the grocery store and bought zero junk food. I didn't even leave the produce and natural foods sections.

time to step it up...

2011-12-28T10:08:00.001-05:00

Thursday marks 9 months since I gave birth to Logan. And as of today I weigh 12 pounds more than I did when I got pregnant. That was a comfortable weight but is still about 10 pounds more than what I think my ideal weight is. So all in all I want to lose about 20-22 pounds. So much for the saying that it takes 9 months to gain the weight and 9 months to lose it.

Part of me is wondering what the heck happened, since lots of moms comment on the seemingly effortless weight loss that comes with breastfeeding. Apparently it skipped over me. I certainly don't eat as well as I could/should. I was so nervous to change my diet and cut back on how much I was eating for fear it would mess up my milk supply. Well now that doesn't matter, so it's time to clean up my diet and start exercising again. My running over the summer was great, but didn't result in much weight loss overall. I'm pretty sure any fitness/strength I gained has all been lost now. I started last night with 30 minutes on the stationary bike.(Strength interval, 30 minutes, level 14, 8.81 miles, 230 calories burned)

My weight loss goal is 22 pounds by March 29.

I'm going to schedule specific 30-40 minute workouts for each day 4 days a week. The other three days will be rest/make up/extra workout days. Running right now is difficult because of the lack of daylight hours, so they will mostly be relegated to the weekends. During the week I'm going to use the 30 Day Shred and the stationary bike, at least until I get going.
I'm going to track workouts and my weight daily on an app on my phone. No excuses since I can track anywhere, anytime.
I'm going to start meal planning. I tried this the week before last, and didn't get very far, though I did plans meals and buy groceries accordingly. I just didn't make all of what we planned. I need some healthy/easy options to add to the list.
I'm going to stock up on healthy lunch/snack options for work. It makes it really hard to avoid the temptation to eat out when I don't have anything on hand and my lunch options are PBandJ or cereal.
I'm going to track what I eat on the myfitness pal app on my phone (unless I find something I like better).

I have set a goal to resume running. I've wanted to run a half marathon for a few years and this is the year to do it. I have two options for this spring. (I wanted to do it relatively close to Logan's birthday to mark the occasion.) Eric's cousins have invited me to run a 4 mile race on St. Patty's Day and a half marathon in May with them. I have not committed, but I am going to make a decision by Feb 1 and register. It will depend on how easily I can fit runs in, especially for the half marathon. There is also a great mountain biking community in Ithaca, and a woman I did a mtn biking clinic with a few years back lives right in town and leads a whole bunch of group rides all season long. This spring/summer will mark my return to the trails. I have loving family who will eagerly watch Logan for a few hours while I ride, and I'm sure that maybe every other week I can get out of work in time to make it home for a weeknight ride.

I just need to make the effort. It's important to me to be fit and able to keep up with Logan as he grows up. I want to model an active and healthy lifestyle for him. I want to be in better shape before we start trying for another baby. I want to fit into the clothes I already own. I was gifted a bunch of gift cards for clothes for Christmas, but I don't want to buy everything a size up. I want to be proud of myself. I don't want to crop out my midsection in every photo I'm in. For once, I want to reach the goals I've set for myself year after year and not settle for falling short. These last nine months have flown by and I've enjoyed them so much. But now I need to make time to get healthy.

Santa!

2011-12-22T11:26:00.000-05:00

Eric and I debated taking Logan to see Santa since he won't remember it and the pictures can be expensive, but in the end we decided to do it. He only gets one first Christmas. I checked out Santa first, to make sure he looked like a "real" Santa and not creepy. I think this Santa was pretty good. He was friendly, patient, and knew what he was doing. The whole setup was pretty efficient and it seemed like they were doing a good job getting people good pictures as quickly as possible, without rushing people too much. If you purchased pictures, they had no problem letting you take a few on a camera or phone either.

Logan wasn't phased by Santa at all. He took it all in stride, including the 45 minute wait in line. Coming first thing in the morning or right after lunch isn't the best idea, but it wasn't too bad. Logan had a bottle while we waited in line and Eric left to browse since he's not a fan of waiting in line either.

Logan's first tractor

2011-12-20T10:42:00.002-05:00

There's a feud between my dad and Eric's parents - Farmall versus John Deere. My mom sent Logan one of our Farmall toy tractors for Christmas and Logan was thrilled.

The ending is well worth watching the whole video.

See? Told you the ending was worth it.

cheerios!

2011-12-19T22:35:00.000-05:00

In the last month Logan has lost his tongue thrust reflex and has started to get the hang of the pincer grasp to pick up little things. Which means he's all about cheerios and puffs!

This is him in November trying Cheerios for the first time.

And this is him last weekend!

He's growing up so fast!

showers and baths oh my!

2011-12-15T11:38:00.000-05:00

Logan took his last dose of antibiotics for his most recent ear infections on Sunday. I already knew what to expect with antibiotics, so I stocked up on disposable diapers, wipes and diaper ointment. I figured that we would be in the clear by Tuesday or Wednesday, but no. He is blowing out of diapers left and right. He has required a bath or shower every. single. morning. this week! It is painful to be buying disposable diapers when we have a nice stack of cloth diapers waiting to be used, but there is no way I am washing dirty diapers while he is on antibiotics. I've been feeding him bananas, cheerios, organic banana puffs, and today N is starting him on yogurt at daycare. Exploding diapers (and extra loads of laundry) are getting old.

And just like that...

2011-12-12T11:02:00.002-05:00

Logan and I are done nursing. For the last two weeks I have been kind of nursing and pumping once in a while. Then before I knew it, I hadn't nursed or pumped all day Friday. Or Saturday. Or Sunday. I'm still a bit in denial that it is over. But it is. There were times this weekend that I thought about nursing Logan and trying to keep going for a it longer, but it just didn't happen. I'd by lying if I said I wasn't sad and disappointed about it. It wasn't far into my pregnancy that I decided that I would be breastfeeding Logan. Even if I didn't have any other reason, the cost of formula alone was enough to make it worthwhile. But of course I enjoyed being able to quiet Logan by nursing. I loved nursing him to sleep. I loved knowing that I alone was providing the nourishment and sustenance that he needed to live and grow. There are times that nursing wasn't all that great. (Hello teeth!) But we made it through, we made it work, and Logan thrived.

Once we were off to a good start with breastfeeding, I started thinking about how long I would breastfeed Logan. I had initially had the one year mark as my goal for exclusively breastfeeding, but what if I nursed him longer than that. It is the easiest way to get him to sleep and to calm him when he's upset. Maybe I could stop pumping at work at one year, but nurse beyond that point. My parents have not said anything one way or the other about how long to nurse Logan. But there were comments from others when his teeth came in. I brushed them off and pointed out that they were called milk teeth. I mentioned the World Health Organization's recommendation to breastfeed until age 2.

I am disappointed and sad that I am done nursing Logan. Mainly because I enjoyed it (most of the time), it was good for Logan, and it was something that only I could do for him. But a tiny part of me was looking forward to breastfeeding Logan until his first birthday and beyond to make a point. Breastfeeding is natural, it is good for mom and baby, and that getting teeth, starting solid foods, and saying your first word are not valid reasons to stop.

So now that we are done breastfeeding, there are a few positives. No more pumping! I didn't despise pumping much until my supply started to decrease. Then the stress over pumping enough and waiting longer and longer for my milk to let down each time made me grow to despise pumping. No more transferring milk to bottles each night, washing pump parts, or forgetting pump parts when I leave for work. I'm more productive at work without taking four 20-30 minute breaks each day. I have fewer issues with certain coworkers who just never could understood why I had to pump. (One guy I work with was even caught trying to peek into my office to "see what I was really doing". I'm not kidding!) I'm no longer trying to cover myself while nursing when I'm at my in-law's. I became very relaxed about this, but still tried to cover up around my father-in-law and brother-in-law.

To ease the transition, I still feed Logan myself most of the time. Eric gives him the rest of the bottles, and on a rare occasion someone else does. I let Eric know that I just wasn't ready for everyone to take over feeding Logan. I am also pretty protective when it comes to bedtime. I am almost always the one who puts Logan to bed, and I am not ready for that to change. Eric does put Logan to bed from time to time, and his help is especially appreciated when Logan is having a tough time going to bed and I need a break. But I don't let anyone else take over putting him to bed. (We spend a lot of time with my in-laws and my parents on the weekends, traveling to their homes. I know that both grandmothers would love to take over bedtime if they were given the chance.) I also make good use of the time right after Logan falls asleep by snuggling with him. Last night I spent a solid two hours laying in the recliner with Logan snuggled on my chest.

Things tend to seem hard in the moment sometimes (like the couple of days when we really struggled with biting) but when I look back, things don't seem like they were all that hard. We had a relatively easy time breastfeeding and pumping, but we still had some challenges along the way. Using the nipple shield. The tongue tie. Sore nipples. Pump issues. Biting. More pump issues. Low supply. Pumping at work. When I feel like a failure, which I do now and then, I think about all of those things that we overcame in order to nurse for 8 months. I am so proud that I made it eight months breastfeeding Logan. I'll cherish those moments and the bond it helped to create forever.

mother's intuition

2011-12-06T12:03:00.000-05:00

Despite Logan seeming to be back to his old self on Sunday, he spiked a fever yesterday around noon at daycare and it hung on all night. When I picked him up he was just not himself at all. He was staring off, his eyes half closed, with flushed cheeks. No smile when he saw me, no fussing when I had to stuff his arms into his jacket, not even any fussing when I wiped his face. He ate less than normal, but did sleep his usual 2 hours. I called the pediatrician as soon as I left and made an appointment for this morning.

In case you couldn't tell, I felt a little foolish leaving urgent care with a info sheet on teething pain. I want to be taken seriously and don't want to get a reputation as the mom who brings her baby to the doctor over nothing. No one has even implied that, so I know it's just my own issue.

Overall though, there were just too many things going on. He was spitting up more than normal, and it was thick and dark orange (haven't seen that before). His fever wasn't going away with ib profen. He was a little to still. He was a little to despondent. He was so fussy at bed time. He wasn't eating any solids and wasn't taking his normal amount in bottles. He was coughing to the point of getting read, out of breath and throwing up. I know he has a cold. I know he's teething. I know babies change every time you turn around. But I just wasn't sure that was it. Today he woke up just a little warm and after some ib profen, he had no trace of a fever and was basically his usual happy, playful self. I almost canceled the appointment, but kept it because the doctor had agreed to see us before the office opens so I didn't have to wait until 11 and miss a whole day of work. (Seriously, I LOVE my pediatrician and all the drs and nurses at the office.)

So I went to the doctor today, recounting all the same symptoms I rattled off at urgent care and on the phone last night. He's getting 3-4 teeth. I didn't see the bottom teeth, but could today since I was looking at him from above and could see the back of his lower jaw. Everything looked normal until the ears. A very mean looking ear infection in both ears! I don't ever want Logan to be sick and was wishing I was wrong, but there was a little shout of victory in my head that I wasn't making it all up or over reacting. I guess maybe I do know my kid.

Because he didn't have a fever and was seeming a lot better, I took him to daycare. I let her know that if he was running a temp at all or just not doing well, that I'd leave in an instant. I feel a little guilty about that, but I'm seriously behind with a few reports and needed to go in if it was possible.

Christmas

2011-12-05T09:30:00.000-05:00

DH and I live about 45 minutes from his parents and about 3 hours from mine. We are the farthest away (but still in day-trip distance) from both sets of parents. Add to that that our house is smaller, usually a cluttered mess, and I don't cook, and you can see why I don't anticipate hosting any holidays any time soon. (When DH and I bought our house, I claimed a 7 year grace period on hosting any holiday dinner!) I know some families with young kids prefer to have people come to them, but I'm not one of them. Despite having to pack and unpack (usually not until a week later when someone is running out of clothes) and drive a few hours, I still prefer traveling to hosting. I like arriving and getting to relax or help someone else cook and clean, than having to do it myself.

The pattern for the last couple of years has been that we spend Christmas Eve with Eric's family and Christmas with mine. I don't anticipate changing that any time soon. I'm a little selfish about wanting to be with my family for Christmas morning and Christmas dinner, and it works out well because Eric's brother and his wife do the same, so we are all at Eric's parent's home together on Christmas Eve.

We are going to have to get creative with Logan once he is a it older in explaining how Santa* will find us. What I'm thinking now is that Santa will have one of his elves come early for Christmas eve and we will leave out elf food at my inlaws. Then we'll leave out the typical cookies, milk and carrots for Santa at my parents. I have no idea how this will work out logistically, since Christmas Eve is not a holiday and while I am usually sent home early, I'm expected to work that day when it's a week day. Also, depending on the day of the week, we do not always leave Christmas Eve night to go to my parents, some years we leave early Christmas morning. I'm sure that we will figure it out as we go. I think that once Logan is older, we'll do one or two present from Santa and the others from us.

* I've been back and forth on whether or not to have Logan believe in Santa, but I don't blame my parents for lying to us about it, which is the main concern I get from parents who don't tell their kids that Santa is real, so I don't think Logan will either. It certainly does add some magic to the season and encourage creativity and imagination through fantasy.

How do you do Christmas with your kids?

kisses!!

2011-12-05T07:25:00.000-05:00

Logan is starting to grasp the concept of kisses. I say kisses and give him a noisy, overly dramatic smooch on his lips and he laughs and opens his mouth. When I say kisses again he (tries to) grab my face and opens his mouth to give me a "kiss" back, which is more like him attempting to eat my face off. We both laugh and repeat it over and over. Now when I say kisses and make a smoochy sound he gets so excited.

I went to urgent care and all I got...

2011-12-03T18:28:00.001-05:00

...was an info sheet on teething pain. Yep, I was that mom today. Logan had a high fever yesterday when I picked him up from daycare. I called the pediatrician, and was advised to give him ib prophen, a cool bath, and turn on his humidifier. It went down a bit after some ib prophen, but it was raging again this morning. He wasn't eating his usual amount, and this morning the ib prophen didn't lower his fever. We went to Eric's grandfather's funeral, and his cough and breathing seemed worse. I took his temp again and it was still really high, so off to urgent care we went. His ears were clear, lungs sounded clear, and his heartrate and breathing rate were fine. Diagnosis - a lingering cold and teething.

I called the dr and my step mom (a nurse) first, and gave it time, so I don't think I over reacted by taking him in. I just find it kind of funny that despite my best efforts, it seems looking back that it was an unecessary trip to urgent care. I'm sure my health insurance company will get a laugh... And I'll get the bill...

I'm relieved that he's fine, or at least will be, and best of all he's sleeping right now.

Dear Logan: Eight Months!

2011-12-01T10:54:00.000-05:00

Dear Logan,
November, 29, 2011

This last month has been a blast. You are growing and changing and learning so much. It amazes your daddy and I every day. You give us the biggest grins when we walk into the room. Around new people, you sometimes get bashful and turn your head into my neck or shoulder, but peek out with a sly smile on your face. You have still been sick on an off this month, with a mostly healthy stretch in the middle.

You still love to jump! You are getting closer to crawling every day. You can scoot around or roll side to side to get to something. You sometimes army crawl, but haven't quite mastered getting on your hands and knees yet. Once in a while you get up on them, but usually fall back onto your belly after a moment or two. You can sit up like a champ, but much prefer to stand or jump.

You now have three teeth with another just about ready to break through! The funny thing is that you are getting your top side teeth before the top center teeth, so when you smile you look like a little jack'o'lantern! It's adorable! The center teeth seem to be following the side teeth though, so I imagine we'll be in for a fun week or two when they start popping through. Your top teeth have been more of a pain than the bottom ones and you are chewing on things and fussing more with these than you ever did with your bottom two teeth. You eat pretty well. Night time is still a fussy time for food, but as long as we don't force veggies down your throat, you do pretty well. Sometimes you'll eat 2 jars right down, other nights you seem to be done after half of one jar.

For the last month you've been getting some formula in addition to nursing and having bottles of breast milk. When you got sick last month, I did too, and haven't been able to keep up with all the milk you are drinking each day. I'm worried that by Christmas you will be completely weaned from me and taking only formula, but you don't seem to mind and I'm finding peace with it too. You are a very distracted nurser now, and get frustrated when nursing takes a while. I don't like to take the easy way out, but it is easier to give you a bottle and I don't like to see you frustrated and upset.

You "talk" quite a bit and are now using m, d and g. You started making d sounds first, on 11/14. You say dadadada a lot now, which Daddy loves. You followed with g sounds on 11/24. I love to hear you talk and talk back to you, either telling you about what I'm doing or stories or making sounds back at you. I've been trying to use sign language with you (more, milk and all done) but I'm not very consistent with it, so I'm not sure how much you are picking up. You study me as I wave and do the signs, but haven't quite gotten it yet. You have waved two times (I think purposefully) but most of the time you just stare at us like we are crazy.

You still hate diaper changes and getting dressed/undressed. You roll over so quick sometimes, it's a miracle you haven't rolled right off the couch. I don't use your changing table as much just for that reason.

This month was exciting because you were baptized on November 13, 2011. Uncle Gary and Aunt Gayle are your God Parents and sponsors in the church. We held it at the Lisle Congregational Church, which is the church where many of Daddy's family attended and were baptized and married. Grandpa Doug and Grandma Brenda were married there. Bruce Glazier officiated the ceremony; he also was the one to marry Uncle Gary and Aunt Gayle. Grandpa Dave and Grandma Vicki came into town for the ceremony and afterward we all went to the farm for lunch. I cooked, and miraculously it turned out well. Hopefully by the time you read this, I'll be a better cook. You did wonderful during the ceremony and lunch afterward. It was nice to have our families together to celebrate you.

This month was your first Thanksgiving. The weekend before we celebrated with Grandpa Dave and Grandma Vicki in Cherry Valley. Aunt Christine, Uncle Mike and Esther came out for the weekend and we had a great time.

It was also a rough weekend because Grandpa Doug had a heart attack. We left Cherry Valley early to go to the hospital. He just lit up when he saw you. You really are the apple of his eye. We visited for a bit and he came home Tuesday before Thanksgiving. It was a quiet holiday weekend, but we were all thankful to be there together and that Grandpa Doug was healthy enough to come home.

Unfortunately this month ended with Great Grandpa T (Grandpa Doug's father) passing away. He was a day shy of 90 years old and had been sick for a while, so it was not unexpected. It was a shock and very sad. I'm so glad that he got to meet you. He was a very special man and when you get older Grandpa Doug and Daddy will tell you all about him.

It has been a roller coaster of a month, with some very wonderful things (your milestones, baptism and Thanksgiving) and also some sad and scary things (Great Grandpa T passing away and Grandpa Doug's heart attack). Through it all you are the one to make us all smile, laugh, and keep faith, hope and love alive in our hearts as live each day. All of your family love you so much and that could not have been more evident than this month. The joy your bring to all of our lives is indescribable.

11/30

2011-11-30T09:46:00.000-05:00

It's been a long month with a lot going on at work and with my family. But I'm glad that I took the time each day to think about the blessings in my life, both big and small. It seems like so many things are uncertain right now, especially with the economy. I'm thankful that Eric and I both have relative job security in our chosen fields. I'm thankful that we have the love and support of our families in case anything did happen. It's so easy to get caught up in the material things in life - bigger house, new computer, new car, new phone... But those things really have so little value in my life overall. After my run in with a deer earlier this month, it was tempting to look at new cars. But ultimately a car is just a car. The same with the rest of the stuff. Eric and I have a warm home that is filled with the important things: each other, our amazing son, love, understanding, kindness, and laughter. The rest is just fluff.

11/28 and 11/29

2011-11-29T21:46:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful for the faith and love within my family. This has been a rough year with multiple losses for part of my family, but it's reassuring to see their faith and love continue even during this trying time. The loss has brought some family closer together, which is a blessing. I'm so grateful that Logan got to meet his great grandpa T and that grandpa T was lucid and healthy enough to meet Logan and really know who he was.

11/27

2011-11-27T21:59:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful for how well Logan sleeps in the car. I might have had to drive around all day, but at least my boy got a much needed long nap in. Hopefully it will help him kick this cold he seems to have caught.

11/26

2011-11-26T21:33:00.001-05:00

Today I'm thankful for the beautiful weather. I got my second run this weekend in with Logan in the jogger.

11/25

2011-11-25T21:52:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful for good sales and easy parking while I shopped. 40%off at Eddie Bauer and my husbands shopping for me is all done.

11/24

2011-11-24T17:03:00.001-05:00

Today I'm thankful for Logan most of all. Celebrating this holiday season with him is wonderful. His smiles and giggles crack me up every single day. The joy he finds in the simple things each day amazes me and keeos me grounded. I'm of course thankful for Eric as well. He really is my other half and seeing him as a father has made my love for him grow exponentially. I'm thankful for our families and being able to celebrate thanksgiving with all of them. I'm thankful for my job and my coworkers, the mild November weather we've had so far (knock on wood) and what the future holds.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

Enjoying a turkey day run with mommy

2011-11-24T16:39:00.000-05:00

11/23

2011-11-23T21:16:00.001-05:00

Today I'm thankful for Logan's smiles and giggles. They melt my heart each and every time, and can turn a bad day around in a split second.

11/22

2011-11-22T14:15:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful it's a short week. I had no patience this morning and feel like I'm drowning. It's just a bad day. Emotions from this past weekend are all tangled up with the pressure I have on me at work and everything else I have on my To Do List. (Grocery shop, laundry x4, unpack from last weekend, pack for this weekend, clean the house, clean out the fridge, wash bottles over and over and over again....). Tomorrow will be a short workday and I'll have a relaxing weekend split between my inlaws house and our house. Hopefully I'll find a good deal on a Britax Boulevard (OMG he's heavy in his infant seat!) sometime this weekend. The weather is supposed to be pretty mild so I'm also hoping to get a few walks/runs in.

11/20 and 11/21

2011-11-21T21:33:00.000-05:00

I am thankful for the medical care provided to a family member over the last few days. It has been a very emotional 36 hours for my family, but by the grace of God and some awesome doctors, it seems like a full recovery is possible.

11/19

2011-11-19T09:42:00.002-05:00

Today I'm thankful for my family. We are celebrating Thanksgiving, my dad's birthday and my brother-in-laws birthday this weekend. My sister, niece and brother-in-law flew into town to be with us for an early celebration. My family is certainly not without our own issues and arguments, but I don't know a group of people that so fiercely come to bat for one another.

I'm also thankful that for whatever reason, when my dad got a second horse, he chose not to get a weanling or yearling, and instead took my advice and bought a 12 year old dead-broke gelding. I can't wait to go for a ride with my dad like we used to! I'm already dropping (not so subtle) hints to Eric's parents about letting us put a horse in their pasture for Logan (and I) to ride!

11/18

2011-11-18T14:38:00.002-05:00

Today I'm thankful for Enterprise rent a car. I got a rental through them while my car was in the body shop, and they actually will pick you up! I have to pick up my car and drop of the rental car after work today without Eric's help and with Logan in tow.

11/17

2011-11-17T11:33:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful for the Graco Bumper Jumper. We purchased this after Eric's parents got Logan a jumperoo activity center. Logan loves to bounce and jump so much. We bought this off of amazon and it's rare when he's not excited to get in it. He will just bounce and spin, looking around and smiling. He loves it when we prop a box next to him and he will smack it and try to pick it up. It's so portable, and I'll move it to the bathroom doorway when I need to shower and Eric's not home.

11/16

2011-11-16T14:08:00.003-05:00

Today I'm thankful to have a group of coworkers that get together for put luck lunches and spend the entire hour laughing and talking as friends. It makes the long commute worth it. Well, almost.

11/15

2011-11-15T22:58:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful for the little moments each day that remind me how blessed I am to have a job, a home, and a loving husband.

11/14

2011-11-14T21:36:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful for my husband who always comes to my rescue when there is a bug in the house. Yep, I'm one of those women who needs her man to squash bugs for her. Just another reason why I love him.

11/12 and 11/13

2011-11-13T21:46:00.000-05:00

This weekend Logan was baptized. It was a wonderful weekend with lots of love. My sister sang a beautiful song* that brought tears to my eyes. And hers, my MIL's and FIL's. It was wonderful to have my parents there, and to feel so blessed.

I'm thankful to have Logan and Eric in my life. I'm thankful to have a wonderful brother in law and sister in law that I love and trust and who will be the most wonderful god parents to Logan.

*She sang In My Daughter's Eyes by Martina McBride, but changed 'daughter' to 'child'.

11/11

2011-11-11T09:42:00.001-05:00

Today I'm thankful for all the veterans (and active duty) who serve our country to protect our freedom.

11/10

2011-11-10T21:41:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful for the bulk candy section at Wegmans! Twix and peppermint patties got me through my day today!

11/9

2011-11-09T19:27:00.001-05:00

Today I'm thankful for my healthy baby boy. We have been so blessed that he is a healthy and happy boy. Well he's happy when you're not trying to feed him veggies. he totally got that gene from my sister!

11/8

2011-11-08T21:29:00.000-05:00

I'm thankful that I have a great group of kids to work with and that I can learn from them as much as they (hopefully) learn from me.

11/7

2011-11-07T22:24:00.001-05:00

Today I'm thankful for a team of coworkers who work together to do the best we can for the kids and families we work with.

Belated Halloween Pictures

2011-11-07T09:54:00.000-05:00

These don't show how difficult it was to get a decent picture of Logan in his costume. We took 98 total pictures, and deleted about 90 of them. I tried to get a few without the pacifier, but he kept biting/sucking on my shoulder (hence the wet spot on my sweater) so we no choice if we wanted to keep going until we got a good one.

I LOVE his expression in the photo below. It's cropped quite a bit, since I have a weird expression trying to get him to smile and look in the general direction of the camera. And .2 seconds later he flung himself backward and tried to roll over in my arms. It was a fun time.

Dear Logan: Seven Months

2011-11-06T23:01:00.000-05:00

Dear Logan,

October 29, 2011

You are seven months old already! If there was one word to describe the last month it would have to be "sick". You started with a cold the day after your 6 month well visit to the pediatrician. After 2 weeks you had gotten a little better, but then had a high fever (102') so we were off to the pediatrician. You were diagnosed with an ear infection and given antibiotics to take for a week. You seemed to feel better and your sleep got better, but overall you finished out the month still congested and snotty. We were all relieved when you finished the antibiotics, since they gave you the most foul explosive diapers I'd ever seen. Along with that came awful diaper rash. We put you in disposable diapers for a solid week so that we could lather your bum with diaper cream. Despite being sick for most of the month, you are still a happy and mild mannered baby.

You love to stand and jump. You seem to always be moving. You love to crawl around, though you are fully crawling yet. You will roll side to side or do a semi-army crawl to get around. And when all else fails, you let out a howl until Daddy or I come get you and give you the toy you are reaching for. You can sit up on your own. I still hang out right beside you to make sure you don't fall and bonk your head, but you are getting really good at it. You can turn to look at me behind you without tipping over, and can also reach for things all around you. You love your jumperoo at Grandpa Doug and Grandma Brenda's house so much, that Daddy and I ordered you a jumper that goes in the doorway. You love that as well. You can sit in it for an hour jumping and spinning without fussing!

You have two teeth that have been there for a while. It made nursing hard for a while, but we are back on track now. You really like to bite down and put those new teeth to use. You will try to take a bite out of anything. You are eating pretty well. You've taken to most foods very well. You're not a huge fan of white potatoes or green beans, but you like pretty much everything else. You eat a jar at lunch and a jar at dinner.

You've decided that diaper changes and getting dressed are awful. You usually start fussing, crying, and trying to roll away and escape. It's pretty funny after the fact, but makes mornings slightly more stressful. The other day Daddy had your onesie on backwards and unsnapped because you were putting up such a fuss.

I love the moments right before and right after you fall asleep when I can just snuggle you close. Those are some of my favorite moments. You laugh and smile so often, and each time it melts my heart. There isn't a thing I wouldn't do for you.

Today is your first Halloween! I got you a monkey costume, complete with a stuffed banana to carry around. You were adorable in it. It wasn't easy to take pictures, but you tolerated the costume this morning as I got you ready for the Halloween Party at daycare.

I love you more than all the bananas in the world!

Love, Mama

11/6/11

2011-11-06T17:00:00.000-05:00

Today I'm thankful for the great moms and babies Logan and I met up with today at the mom's group. Always a good time.

11/5/11

2011-11-05T17:00:00.000-04:00

Today I'm thankful for my amazing family.

11/4/11

2011-11-04T13:58:00.000-04:00

Today I'm thankful for a beautiful morning on my way to work.

11/3

2011-11-03T23:05:00.001-04:00

Today I'm thankful for the moments spent snuggling my sleeping baby boy. I cherish the 15-30 minutes after he falls asleep in my arms each night. I hold him tight, try to remember how it feels to hold him in my arms, try to avoid the thought that he will one day be too big for me to hold.

11/2

2011-11-02T22:15:00.000-04:00

Today I am thankful for a beautiful fall day that allowed Logan and I to play outside for a bit after work. I even managed to get a few good pictures of Logan outside.

I'm Thankful November

2011-11-01T20:54:00.001-04:00

It's November and in an effort to be more positive as winter gets ready to set in, I'm going to post something I'm thankful for everyday this month.

Today I am thankful for my loving husband who puts up with all my crap and my adorable, happy baby boy. They make my life worthwhile.

seven months

2011-10-29T20:23:00.000-04:00

A post about being sick, tired and the smellier side effects of antibiotics is on the way.

Happy Seven Months Logan.

i love my pediatrician

2011-10-27T22:32:00.000-04:00

I've been having some issues, nothing too major, and called my pediatrician today. I really just love him. He seems to be the rational balance between all of the contradictory information that is out there about raising a baby. He always makes me feel like a good mom, and today was no different. I could almost physically feel the weight coming of my shoulders as he told me that I was doing everything right (regarding this particular issue) and that I was a great mom and have a happy, healthy baby boy to show for it. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that. Today I did.

Dear Logan: Six Months

2011-10-27T15:52:00.000-04:00

*A little late, but at least it's out before the 7 month post.

Dear Logan,
September 29, 2011
You are six months old!! You amaze me a little bit more every day! I try so hard to be present in the moment with you and soak up every minute I have with you. I love all the ways that you are growing and developing, but I really want to make sure that I don't miss anything!
We had your six month well visit. You weighed in at 18 pounds and 13 ounces, a gain of 1 pound and 7 ounces in the last 2 months. You grew an inch in length, reaching 27.5 inches long. You are the picture of health. You are meeting all of your milestones - looking when you hear a sound, grasping things with both hands, moving an object from one hand to the other, smiling, and sitting up. We got some of your vaccines. After your 4 month vaccines, you had a reaction where your leg got all hard and swollen and you cried inconsolably for a few hours, despite Daddy and I holding and rocking you. So we decided to split up your 6 month vaccines, and you are only getting two this time.
You still sleep like a champ most of the time. You've started waking up earlier, but still usually sleep through the night, so Daddy and I can't really complain. I'm hoping that you'll start sleeping longer again, but so far it hasn't happened. Mommy really loves sleeping in a bit on Saturdays and Sundays, but you definitely don't seem to want to let me get any extra sleep on the weekends. You are up for the day by 5:30 or 6:00. Thank goodness for Daddy, who usually gets up that early. I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if you slept through the night until 7:30 or 8:00am. You are definitely a stomach sleeper.
You are developing at an amazing rate. Grandma Brenda and Grandpa Doug got you a jumper play center and you love it! When you got back to our house you tried to jump in your regular play center and seemed confused you weren't bouncing. You are rolling all the time. You reach for things and can transfer things from hand to hand. You are finally sitting up on your own for short periods of time, but you are still a bit wobbly. I've been setting you in the laundry basket so you can practice sitting without falling over. When I'm there supporting you you just want to stand and jump. You love to do "jumper jumper" where you bend your legs a couple times and then I lift you up high in the air. You are so interested in the things around you. I'm worried about you not watching to much TV because you love to look at it. Daddy and I watch too much TV and it's usually on at Grandma Brenda and Grandpa Doug's too.
You have the most amazing smile. It melts my heart and lights up a room. It's the best thing in the world. You always want to be moving and looking at things. You love to be held and walked around. You also love to be outside and looking around.
Daycare is going well. You seem to like it there, the best that we can tell, and the other kids love you. You watch them all the time. Norma loves you and I really hope that it continues to go well. You nap pretty well there, at least in the afternoon, usually 2 hours or so.
Another very exciting milestone is that you'be started eating foods. We started with cereal, but moved to purees pretty quick. You now eat apples, bananas, sweet potatoes, pears, peas, oatmeal, prunes, peaches, blueberries, and carrots. You are a pretty god eater too. It's not that often that you refuse food.
I love you more than you'll ever know. You and Daddy are the best things in my life.

Hats and high chairs

2011-10-25T21:34:00.017-04:00

Thanks for the comments on my last post. It's kind of weird, but I'm not really that shaken up by hitting the deer. It's been easy to keep it all in perspective and to count my blessings that I'm fine and that Logan wasn't in the car with me. (Or Eric, for that matter.) Now it's just the headache of trying to get my car fixed or replaced.

A couple pics of Logan recently. We went to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings and Logan got to try out the high chair/booster seat. He did great. He hates being strapped down so much I almost wish we had skiped the high chair and went with a booster seat at home. He spent the time throwing his toys on the floor and waiting for us to pick them up for him.

Now that it's fall, he rocking out some cute little hats. I haven't found a great animal hat that is just right for him yet, but I'm looking. In the meantime he is adorable in this hat.

Lucky

2011-10-24T23:51:00.001-04:00

I'm OK. It's just a car. I'm actually more worried about the deer I hit than my car. I'm pretty sure that with the damage she did to my car, she can't be in god shape, if she's still alive. (This gives the title of my last post a whole new meaning!)

I have already been to the grocery store once today, but Logan's diaper rash has been awful. He's pooped 10 time a in the last 48 hours, which is a LOT since he's usually a once every-3-days kind of kid. So his tushie is red and raw. We decided to use disposables until he finishes the antibiotics for his ear infection and his digestive system settles down, so we can slather his bum with the heavy duty butt cream (which will make cloth diapers repel instead of absorb liquid). So once he fell asleep, I ran back down town to get some disposable diapers.

I was driving back home. I saw the headlights of an oncoming car, the the profile of the deer's head, then BAM. I realized I was fine and pulled over. There was a motel ahead, so I pulled in. I went back to look for the deer, but she was gone. My windshield is shattered, but still in tact. The front quarter panel, driver's door, rear driver's side door and back panel are all banged up. She must have hit my windshield and front panel, then bounced around and off of the back side of my car.

I've never hit a deer before. Eric was home with Logan and had left his cell on vibrate, so he missed all 35 missed calls I made trying to wake him up. I tried my step mom, then Eric's parents. I ended up filing a police report just to make sure there weren't any issues filing the insurance claim. Our insurance company knows us well, but I've never had an accident like this before where I had to file an insurance claim. My previous cars were paid off and not worth the deductible. I'm assuming they will fix the car, but part of me is wondering if they will end up totalling it since it has so many miles on it, and it's the entire driver's side that would need to be replaced. Who knows. All questions to ask the insurance company in the morning.

It could have been so much worse and I'm just lucky it was so minor, Logan was not with me, and that no one was hurt. Besides the poor deer. (Come on Ithaca - some deer control is necessary - the population in Ithaca is out of control!)

Ricochet rabit rides again. (I was given that nickname by my dad after I was in two car accidents almost exactly one year apart.)

we are alive

2011-10-24T09:30:00.000-04:00

Friday I got hit hard with a cold that kind of knocked me on my ass. I left work early to go home to my boys, but just ended up in bed all afternoon and evening, waking long enough to nurse Logan before bed. Saturday was more of the same.

I took some cold medicine being told it was fine for me to take while nursing, but that combined with my extra sleep, lack of food/drink and lack of pumping/nursing has tanked my supply. Logan will barely nurse because there's nothing there. I pumped first thing this morning and got 5 ounces, and at work I got 2 ounces, so I'm hoping that I can get things back on track in a few days. I just need to pump myself full of fluids, fenugreek, mother's milk tea, and nurse/pump as much as I can.

We got Logan a jumper that hangs in the doorway. To say he loves it is an understatement. He will stay in that thing for an hour, jumping nonstop. He will put his head down or fuss when he's tired. It's awesome. Video to come. I'm sad that I haven't been very good over the last 2-ish weeks getting pictures and videos taken of him.

sick

2011-10-21T11:06:00.001-04:00

Logan has been sick with a cold for 2 weeks. Monday he was hot to the touch and the stupid thermometer wouldn't give a consistent reading, so I called the doctor and got him in for an appointment. He's got an ear infection. He's still been pretty happy, just a little more fussy at times and a little clingy at times. His sleep has been ridiculous though. Some nights he'll sleep from 9 to 4 or 5, and other nights he's up every two hours. So Eric and I are both running ragged. And of course, now that we are exhausted, we are both coming down with colds. While we have a sick baby. So no one is getting any sleep in our house. This weekend is going to be filled with naps. Eric and I are going to tag team all weekend while the other gets in some extra sleep.

Last night Logan woke up crying/fussing pretty hard. He was sleeping in his carseat, and I couldn't get him buckled in without waking him, so I just left him in there unbuckled on the floor. It seemed like the best of the options - wake him getting him buckled and go through the going to sleep process all over again, or put him in his crib and have him wake every 1-3 hours from coughing fits. So I jumped out of bed to get him (as opposed to my 1-3 minutes of hoping he'll go back to sleep like he sometimes does). He was still safely in his carseat and once I got him nursing, I pretty much fell back to sleep on the couch. I barely remembered getting up with him this morning. Thankfully he slept from then to 5am, so at least Eric got an okay night of sleep.

Last night I also went out and dropped a fortune on a better thermometer. I figure it's important to know if he's got a fever or not, and to be able to accurately distinguish between a low fever that can be handled with tylenol or a high fever that means a trip to the Dr. asap.

sippy cup

2011-10-17T09:10:00.000-04:00

Usually I embed video, but I can't while I'm at work, so you'll have to click over. It's worth it though. Logan is making some pretty funny faces.

Watch "Logan first sippy cup 10-16-11" on YouTube

quick update

2011-10-13T22:00:00.000-04:00

Logan is still sick. I'm still tired. (Although I went to bed at 9 last night, Eric took the 12am wake up and I got to sleep until 6am-ish). Work is crazy, and not the good kind of crazy. The I'm working too many hours, doing crisis management and no paperwork or therapy, and I was late picking Logan up from daycare by 20 minutes. 20 minutes isn't huge, but it was already one of my late days, so I felt bad that I was extra late.

Another picture of Logan. This was him asleep on my shoulder the other night. The poor kid can't lay down. He's still sleeping in his carseat at night. Although somehow he's been able to sleep in the pack and play at daycare for naps and he's been keeping up his 2.5 hour afternoon naps.

sniffles and sneezes

2011-10-11T20:43:00.000-04:00

That's what Logan is up to lately. I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the flu shot or if I was fighting a cold and Logan caught it. He's been sick since Thursday evening. It has been a long few days with little sleep and whining that's been taken to a whole new level. He's been up 3-5 times a night. We've been having him sleep in his carseat, since he's been so congested and has been waking up from coughing. Fri, Sat and Sun nights we had to drive him around to get him back to sleep. If he wasn't sick, I wouldn't be so eager for an "easy" answer, but the little guy needs some sleep. So do Eric and I.

I just have to mention how amazing Eric has been. He's been doing more than his share of the night time wake ups (pretty much every one that doesn't require a feeding). I try to take the earlier ones (before 3 or 4am) and he takes the early morning ones. He goes to bed earlier and I go to bed later, so it works okay for now.

I'm working on the 6month letter/update, but it's only about 1/2 done right now. More to come.

where did the week go?

2011-10-06T22:38:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it's almost Friday.

Yesterday I took the day off of work for Logan's 6 month well visit. He's perfect. Happy, healthy and growing well. He gained 1 pound and 7ounces in the last 2 months and grew an inch. He's leveling out a bit on the growth charts. I have to remind myself and Eric that it's not a competition. And to be honest, I'd really like it if the fall/winter clothes that I bought for Logan fit him for longer than a month. He's meeting all of his milestones in the normal range. Aside from being a little congested last night and today, he is the picture of health. Eric and I are so blessed.

Tonight I finally made Eric an apple pie. I didn't pick the apples myself, but I don't think that matters too much. I just threw it together, and luckily I only burned my arm. The pie came out a perfect golden brown. I wish I could say that I made the crust, but Pillsbury does such a great job. Plus if I tried to make my own crust, the pie probably wouldn't be edible. I really want a piece right now, but I am going to try and hold out so Eric can have the first piece.

eating peas...

2011-10-03T21:17:00.000-04:00

sitting up

2011-10-03T12:12:00.000-04:00

I've been using the laundry basket to help Logan learn to sit up. Usually I will sit with him, but most of the time he will want to stand or jump if I'm right there. The laundry basket is the perfect size for him to sit without topping over backward or sideways, while giving him just enough space to practice sitting on his own.

my baby is SIX MONTHS OLD!!!!!

2011-09-29T21:34:00.002-04:00

Where did the time go?

I'm giving up...

2011-09-28T14:43:00.002-04:00

... on making homemade baby food for Logan. I really wanted to make his own baby food. (Especially on the heels of a recall for there being glass in jars of baby food, which I later found out was not in the US.) I know it's pretty easy, at least according to a few family members, countless mom blogs and a few make-your-own baby food websites and cookbooks I've browsed. But what I forgot is that I am a joke in the kitchen. I also go a little crazy when things don't come out well. (Just ask Eric!) I burn things, don't read the directions closely enough, and even when I do get things right, food still seems to come out a little off. Eric and Logan don't need any more of the crazy, cranky, insecure, can't cook worth a damn version of myself than they get each night while I try to scrap dinner together. I don't have a babeacook or even a food processor. We have a basic blender which works okay, but not great. I know I don't need fancy kitchen things to make baby food, but it makes it easier. Add to that what a pain it is to find time to grocery shop and the face that the Wegman's in Ithaca is always packed. So packed I have to exercise all of my patience, deep breathing skills, and race car driver-wannabe skills just to make it through a 30 minute shopping trip. Our freezer is already full of food and breastmilk. And the time. I just don't have a lot of time. We travel most weekends. Last weekend was the first weekend we stayed in our house both Friday and Saturday nights in a long, long time. Saturday was filled with errands and a short trip to the in-laws and Sunday was more errands, play time, cleaning and organizing the house and my mom group.

Add all of those things together and the end result is jarred baby food. Earth's Best Organic Baby Food to be exact, since I'm still entertaining the idealistic notion of having Logan eat only organic food at least until he starts school. The ingredients on the jar of pears Logan ate last night listed: Organic pears. That's it. No fuss. Crack a jar and spoon it into his mouth. So that's how it'll be until he starts eating a chopped up version of our dinner.

And maybe one day, we'll stop using the table for storage and actually eat dinner together at the table with the TV off. Maybe.

the last hour

2011-09-28T09:54:00.001-04:00

written last night

I spent the last hour holding my sleeping baby. Feeling his weight in my arms. Smelling the slightly damp but overwhelmingly delicious baby smell. Kissing his forehead over and over. Listening to and feeling his breathing. Melting like a handful of M&Ms on a hot summer day every time he sighed in his sleep. Staring at his chubby cheeks smushed into my chest. Touching his hands that have always seemed more like toddler hands to me, too big to be baby hands.

I spent the last hour remembering when he was only days old. When we spent hours in that very recliner watching Netflix reruns while he slept in that same position. When he was smaller and his cry was different. When he couldn't sit up or hold his own bottle or smile a huge grin at me every time he sees me. When he didn't laugh his deep belly laugh while I make a huge fool of myself. When his entire world consisted of mine and his daddy's face as we stared into his blue eyes.

I spent the last hour thinking of the day when he would be too big to hold on my lap. When he wouldn't want to curl up on my lap because he is a big boy. When he is a teenager shying away from my hugs and kisses. When he is a man and has a girlfriend or wife that will watch him sleep, hold his hand, listen to him breathing.

I spent the last hour cherishing every second with my little boy. I spent the last hour wishing time would slow down just a little bit. I spent the last hour praying that I will do a little bit better every day at this motherhood thing. That I won't let these moments slip by.

this weekend

2011-09-26T12:07:00.000-04:00

This weekend was fairly relaxing. We stayed home most of the weekend. Saturday I headed out to Mama Goose downtown for their annual Outerwear and Halloween sale. It was ridiculous, but I did get a few things for Logan, including a monkey costume for Halloween. Saturday afternoon we had an appointment, then stopped by my inlaws to visit and so Eric could help with chores. It was nice to come home Saturday night. Eric and I went to bed early and relaxed and Sunday I went to my mom's group and spent some time doing some cleaning and rearranging of our house.

Our house really only has two bedrooms. The dining room is separate from the kitchen, and the stairs to the basement are in an unfortunate location, preventing us from opening the kitchen to the dining room. The dining room is on the back side of our house, with one smaller window, so it's pretty dark and closed off. But we have this beautiful sunroom that never gets used much. Eric had the suggestion when we bought the place to make the dining room into a third bedroom and use the sun room as the dining room. After a lot of discussion, we've finally done just that. The third bedroom has a door to the hallway and also a door to the kitchen, but we might close that second door off at some point. The sunroom is still our place to pile things and has a couch, the table and a drying rack for diapers in it. I'd love to get rid of the couch, but Eric thinks we need to keep it. There just is not a good place to put it and it makes fitting chairs around the table a little tricky. I'm going to move the drying rack, but I just don't know where. I love our house, but there is not a lot of room to grow in it. But on the plus side, it does keep us from hanging on to too much junk, since there just is not room for it all.

My parents are coming in this weekend, and I have a list for my dad. There is a chandelier in the old dining room, which is right in the way. Eventually we'll get rid of it and replace it with a more typical ceiling light, but for now I'm just going to have him raise it up, so we stop hitting our heads when we walk through. Replacing the rest of the electrical sockets is next on the list, at least in a few key areas as we get ready to baby proof the house.

Which brings us to a whole other topic. I'm trying to find the line between being overprotective and smart when it comes to baby proofing. I'm not so concerned with outlets that are hidden behind furniture, but there are some that we use that are out in the open. Also, when I was a kid, I was the one who climbed up onto the kitchen counter to reach the flintstones vitamins that my parents put on the top shelf and proceeded to eat half the bottle before I was caught. I was rewarded with an ER trip and a bottle of charcoal. So I'm thinking that I want to be pretty cautious when it comes to cleaning stuff, medications, and that sort of stuff.

last weekend

2011-09-26T10:06:00.000-04:00

Last weekend Eric, Logan and I went to Taughannock Falls State Park. It was a gorgeous afternoon and we walked to the bottom of the falls. Logan was great, as he always is when we are outside.

lots of bags...

2011-09-22T22:53:00.000-04:00

Getting out the door each morning is tough. Literally. I thought it was amazing how much stuff you had to take when you went out with the baby, but working out of the home is so much worse! Laptop for work, breast pump bag that is also stuffed with my wallet, lunch, water bottle, etc.. and the diaper bag for daycare.

uh oh

2011-09-21T15:37:00.000-04:00

This morning I got to work, got my computer turned on and started unpacking my pump. I usually pump as soon as a wake up, then at 9, 11, 1 and 3. I start pulling everything out of my bag and get it all hooked up when I realize that I don't have my flanges. I'm a 55 minute drive from home, so there is no going back to get them. Now it's 3pm, I'm engorged and the manual pump that I wasted $30 on at the nearby Walmart is not getting any milk out. If the pump parts weren't so darn expensive, I'd buy and extra set, but I guess I'll just have to check my bag twice from now on. Maybe leave a sticky note by the door. I can't wait to get home and nurse Logan and pump.

Changing things up... and Review: Breastflow Bottles

2011-09-20T14:24:00.000-04:00

When it came time to shop for bottles I first bought Tommee Tippee bottles. Cute, good reviews, etc... Then I returned them. It took a few more trips and many minutes standing in the bottle aisle staring dumbfounded at all the bottles before I finally bought Playtex VentAire Advanced bottles. But then I returned those as well. I had chosen a pump and wanted a bottle I could pump directly into. So what did I do? I bought the Breastflow bottles by The First Years, which I can't pump into, but which are supposedly the slowest flow bottles you can get, making baby less likely to develop a bottle-over-boob preference. It has a double nipple that supposedly require compression and suction, like breastfeeding does. I liked that it actually looks more like a breast with the rounded base of the nipple. Logan took to them alright and I ended up pumping into the small bottles that came with my pump and then dumping that into a large Breastflow bottle, which I then poured into 4 oz servings in the small Breastflow bottles for Logan to drink. (I only have 2 4oz bottles that came with my pump and on a good day I can pump 12-15oz just at work, so I had to transfer into something.) I was doing a lot of washing and pouring, but it was alright.

Until I noticed that the inner nipple was cracking badly by the opening at the top. At this point I had used the bottles regularly for about 2 months. Each bottle was used once a day and everything was washed by hand each night. I called and the company agreed to replace 4 of the nipples, and if I wanted the rest replaced I had to send them in. I figured shipping would offset the cost of just buying new ones, so we used those 4 each day with the plan to buy more as needed. After 2 weeks the new ones started to crack as well. Ughl! I know that it's not likely that a piece would break off and make it through the outer nipple, but on the off chance that the outer nipple cracked too and we missed it, I didn't want Logan to swallow anything or, God forbid, choke.

So last night we went out and bought all new bottles Dr. Browns bottles. I am frustrated at the unplanned expense, since we had to buy 2 packs of 4oz bottles and I got a pack of 8oz ones as well. They do work with my Hygeia pump with the adapter, so it is much easier to pump. There is no transferring milk after I pump, so at the end of the day I wash 6 bottles (the 2 I pump into and the 4 Logan takes each day) instead of the 8 I was washing before. Not a huge difference, but it seems simpler to me. And after you spill a bottle of breastmilk all over your desk at work while trying to transfer it before rushing off to a meeting, not having to transfer milk after each pumping is a nice relief.

Overall I think the idea behind the Breastflow bottles is great, but the quality is really lacking. I don't know if it was just me or what, but I bought the bottles at different times from different stores and still had the same issue with the nipples the company replaced for me.

what happened to my sleeper?!?

2011-09-20T09:12:00.001-04:00

For the last week and a half Logan has not bee sleeping well. I'm sure it's a combination of growth spurt(s), teething, and all the milestones he is hitting. I just need to say that my husband is the best! He's really been awesome at taking some of the night wakings and early mornings when Logan refuses to go back to sleep.

But he sure is cute!

college versus parenthood.

2011-09-19T15:20:00.000-04:00

It took 4 long years to get a Bachelors Degree in English. Lots of (unrelated) classes, lots of studying and lots of papers and I still have to look up the parts of speech to figure out the difference between an adverb and an adjective. Then, I spent another 2 years getting a Masters of Social Work. Many, many, many pages of reading, many papers and lots of discussion and assignments got me the degree, but it doesn't make knowing what to say to a parent any easier.

Now I'm 6 months into parenthood and I feel like I've qualified for a whole lot of honorary degrees. Diaper changing, breastfeeding, breast pumping, cleaning up spit up, laundry, washing cloth diapers, navigating the squeaky floorboards while Logan is sleeping, the art of laying down a sleeping child without waking him, etc...

It amazes me how little I learned in college and how much I learn in the day-to-day life of parenthood.

great deal

2011-09-15T09:24:00.000-04:00

I'm always excited to find a great deal, especially on a great product that I love. I really love Keen shoes, but only own one pair because they are pricey. I search online now and then, but recently I was on the hunt for the perfect holds-everything-I-need mom wallet and was on the Keen website. I found the Keen Toyah shoe and loved it.

After a long search on Google (my internet bff) I found them at backwoods.com. For $20.50!!!!!! But they only had them in black (I really wanted and needed brown shoes) and they were out of stock. So I took a chance and called the store to see if there was a pair hiding on a back shelf anywhere. After an eternity on hold and the woman finally saying that she would call me back, I was informed they had one pair in my size in black in one of their stores. It was too good of a deal to pass up so I bought them without hesitation. A week later they arrived and to my surprise they were brown! They somehow got in the wrong box and it was my lucky day. Today it's hovering in the 50's, so I decided to try them out and they are already my favorite pair of shoes! They do look a little like boots, but I deal with NY winters, and they'll be just fine for any day I'm not in court for work.

cuddling

2011-09-15T08:40:00.003-04:00

IMG_1683, originally uploaded by di5308.

Last weekend at my in laws Logan was playing on the floor and cuddling up with a fleece blanket! It was so cute!

I have a monkey lovey that was a gift. Logan hasn't really attached to any one thing. He'll cuddle with blankets, burp clothes, the money, his seahorse or pretty much whatever is around him if he wants to cuddle with something. I'm trying to find another monkey as a back up before I really foster his attachment to one thing. Whoever makes those things must make a killing! $20 for a stuff animal head on a small blanket square? Or $50 for a set of three? And I see (what I assume are discontinued ones) on ebay for a fortune. Someone is capitalizing on a parent's willingness to pay anything for a replacement or back up lovey.

brunch

2011-09-13T22:33:00.003-04:00

IMG_1592, originally uploaded by di5308.

i'm a big boy

2011-09-13T22:33:00.001-04:00

IMG_1568, originally uploaded by di5308.

So I'm just sitting here in a big boy chair with a big boy watch on reading my book!

it was a big weekend for the baby book!

2011-09-12T10:14:00.000-04:00

First, on Friday I noticed a little something poking through Logan's lower gum as I picked him up from daycare. Yep, the first tooth has made its appearance.

We also decided it was about time to try cereal. We decided to wait until Logan was approaching 6 months, at the recommendation of our pediatrician and lactation consultant. I was going to skip cereal altogether and start with avacado, sweet potato and banana (one at a time to check for allergies) but Eric was pretty set on starting with cereal and I figured that it wasn't worth the argument. I was adamant that we weren't going to use white rice cereal though. There is not a lot of nutrition in it and I wanted him to start on a whole grain. Logan gobbled it right up! He didn't thrust much of it out and was very interested in the spoon. He had a tablespoon or so Saturday night followed by about 1-2 tablespoons last night.

I don't know if it has to do with the cereal (we fed him in the evenings after a feeding and before his last night time feeding) but Logan slept awfully last night. He was up every two hours all night. We are going to hold off on the cereal tonight and see how he does today and tonight and then re-evaluate tomorrow. I'm excited to move away from the cereal and onto real foods. I also think I have Eric convinced that I should make Logan's food, since there was a Gerber recall of baby food that had glass in it! (I just looked it up, as I had just heard it in passing, and the recall was in France and no food sold in the US was affected.) It really is a good reason to go natural/local though, since in the last year or so there have been recalls on formula (infested with beetles and larvae), diapers (2nd and 3rd degree chemical burns) and baby food (glass in the food!)! Next weekend I plan to hang at home and spend Saturday making and freezing baby food for Logan. I want to get the produce while it is still in season and can be purchased locally, rather than waiting until winter when it's more expensive and harder to get.

new toy at the grandparents' house

2011-09-10T19:01:00.003-04:00

Irene, et al.

2011-09-09T09:35:00.000-04:00

Many areas around where I live have been shattered by the tropical storms and relentless rain that came with them. I spent a few minutes this morning flipping through these pictures in horror. I can't imagine what others are going through: being evacuated, having their cars floating down the street, having their homes flooded and destroyed. Our house, thankfully, is in a good location. We are on a hill, but didn't get hit as hard as some areas and our basement is dry. My family (Latham and Cherry Valley) have lost power at times and have had some damage to the land/roads near them, but otherwise are okay. At my dad's house in Cherry Valley there was a reservoir (which used to supply the water to the town) which was recently purchased by one of our neighbors. The one end washed out, draining all the water and completely washing out the lower driveway/road and parts of the main road leading to town. I will try to post some pictures of what it looks like now when I get them off my camera, hopefully tonight or tomorrow.

a sad day

2011-09-06T13:03:00.000-04:00

Marley and I hiking Overlook Mountain in the Catskills, July 2008

Last week was a roller coaster. Wednesday I gave Logan a bath. I set him down on his towel on the floor, and that's when I saw the tick, crawling up the side of the bathtub. It was a tiny little nymph and I squashed it but then dropped it onto the gray bath mat. I scooped Logan up and gave him a very thorough once over, but he was fine. I grabbed all the clothes, towels, and the bathmat from the bathroom and tossed them outside. I took the clothes down the the washer and did a hot wash with a splash of bleach. The bath mat is still exiled from our house.

We've battled ticks for a while, but it's been a struggle since we moved into our house. The back of our property is all woods and there are a lot of deer and other animals that come into our yard. Our apple trees are of particular interest, and sometimes the deer come right to the house. We've been treating Marley with K9 Advantix (we've already tried Frontline, which didn't work well for us) and we are still finding ticks. I even bought the kind for the next size larger dog, since Marley was at the upper limit of the kind we were using, but it was all to no avail. What makes this particularly scary is that Eric has several relatives with very serious complications from Lyme Disease. We can't fence our yard (a combination of not being able to afford a decent fence and not wanting to put one up anyway) and keeping Marley on a run, instead of letting him loose, does not help. He still comes back with ticks. Usually we find that one has bitten him and we pull it off him, but we've also found a bunch crawling on him as we check him over before letting him back in the house. We've looked into treating our yard to kill ticks, but it is very costly and we'd have to reapply the stuff often.

When I saw that tick inches from Logan, I knew I was done. We thoroughly checked Marley over and then Eric took him to his parents for a few days until I could figure out what to do. I was a mess that night, but my fear for Logan's health and safety won out over my love for Marley. I put out the word to a few friends and family members that know Marley well and we spread the word that we were looking for a new home for him. By the next day my grandmother had decided to take him in. She's already completely in love with him, and he is living a life of luxury. He has already met her other dog, Shane. He has a huge yard to run around in and my grandmother is home all day with both of them.

I feel awful, because I had always sworn to myself that I would never be someone to have a baby and then forget about my dog or get rid of him. Marley is an amazing dog, and while I'm heartbroken that we had to find him a new home, I am happy that he's doing well with my grandmother and Shane. I called for an update this morning, and was told that he slept on my grandmother's bed most of the night last night and was happily napping on his bed after a run outside and a treat. I already miss him so much. I hate that Logan won't grow up with a dog, but it doesn't look like we'll be able to have one for a long time at the house we have now. We just live in an area where ticks are everywhere and Lyme Disease is so prevalent in our area. After all of this happened, I heard from a friend that she had been bitten by a tick and is being treated for Lyme Disease and her son (just over 1 year old) was bitten a couple weeks later, but thankfully they caught it right away and there was no skin reaction at all. I know that Lyme Disease is treatable if caught soon, but I also know several people who have had years and years of serious medical issues from Lyme and I just couldn't fathom Logan going through that.

I've always preferred dogs to cats, but it looks like a friendly (indoor) adult cat might be in our future.

D-Day

2011-09-01T11:06:00.003-04:00

Well, today is the day. The start of day care. Eric and I got Logan ready and packed up the diaper bag and headed over to day care. The plan for today was to have Eric meet N, the woman caring for Logan, and for us to have a little time to see N interact with Logan. We made the arrangements before he was born, so she hadn't met him yet. We were not sure if we were ready to leave him today, but we did. I had packed the diaper bag with a couple Flip covers and inserts, a change of clothes and a bottle. We arrived at 8 and N was immdiately smitten with Logan. I could see it all over her face. The next youngest was 1 year old, so he is the youngest of the kids she cares for. I showed her how our diapers work and we talked a but about his schedule. I'm a little concerned about Logan napping when he is there, because we still hold/rock/feed Logan until he's asleep and then put him down. I'm sure N will handle it just fine, but the other kids there will fall asleep on their own in the pack n play. We left around 8:40. I headed to work afterward and Eric headed home, planning to pick Logan back up around 10:30 or 11.

I'm much calmer than I expected. I didn't cry at all (yet) but was close to it at one point. I think it's a little harder on Eric since he's been the one home with Logan all day long for the past few months. I know Logan will be okay there and I still feel very good about N. I really like her. She's pretty relaxed and didn't worry about the fact that I had forgotten his wetbag or left one of the forms at my office. We are at a good point to start day care because Logan is older and pretty easy going, but also is still at the point where he likes pretty much everyone. I hope that since it's just one person caring for him, we can skip the separation anxiety phase. If Logan were not so content when we left him, I know that I would be a mess.

I already want to run home to him, but have to hang on for about 6 more hours. It doesn't help that I have a killer headache and some other stuff going on that is making it hard to focus at work today.

Dear Logan: Five Months

2011-08-31T10:36:00.003-04:00

Dear Logan,

August 29, 2011

For some reason this month has seemed to pass a bit slower, and it seems like I’ve been telling people that you are “almost 5 months” for a while. Although I still have no idea where the month of August went and can’t believe that the summer is almost over. This summer has been so special because you have been home with Daddy during the days. It is always hard to leave you, but it is easier knowing that you are with Daddy. I just melt when I walk in the door and hear Daddy tell you that “Mommy’s home!” You light up when you see me and give me the biggest grin.

You don’t go back to the doctor until 6 months, so I’m not really sure how big you are. You continue to grow though, and don’t show any signs of slowing down very much. I bought some fall and winter clothes for you, which are 12 month size, but I will have to buy some 18 month things soon, since you won’t make it through the winter in 12 month clothes.

Sleeping is going pretty well. We’ve all adjusted to not swaddling you any more and it seems like so long ago that we last put you in it. You usually sleep through the night, with a day or two here and there where you wake up once or get up earlier than normal. Weekends are tougher on me, as you tend to get up earlier than normal and want nothing to do with going back to sleep after I feed you. The fun thing with sleep now is seeing what position you are sleeping in. You move a bit during the night and sometimes you are on your back, but usually you end up on your side or on your stomach in the corner of the crib. I’ve snuck in a few times to take pictures of you sleeping. Once in a while when you are on your stomach I panic and come in to make sure you are still breathing, but I’ve relaxed quite a bit about it. You are a very strong little boy and are able to move all around.

You still continue to grow and develop at an amazing pace. You now love your play seat. You sit up in it very well and can play for longer periods of time. You are getting much better at holding things and purposefully grasping things and picking them up. You are also able to hold heavier and bigger things, which is pretty neat. You LOVE to stand and bounce and yesterday you were dancing to a singer named Beyonce.

You roll easily from front to back and back to front. You will roll several times in a row to get to something you want. You especially like to do this on the changing table, and we can’t turn our eyes away from you for one second or you’ll try to roll off. You can push up on your hands, and you can also push up on your legs, but you haven’t yet figure out how to do both at once. You version of “crawling” so far is to straighten your legs with your bum in the air and your face planted on the floor and try to push forward with your legs. You don’t get very far and it doesn’t look very fun, but you do it often. I’m pretty sure you’ll figure out crawling sometime soon. You can pull your toes to your mouth pretty easily and you can almost sit up on your own. You’re getting closer, but you are still pretty top heavy. We got you a high chair so that you can sit with us at the table while we eat, and eventually when you eat too.

You’ve spent some time with Grandma Brenda this past month too. We usually see her and Grandpa Doug on weekends, but Grandma has come out to play with you while Daddy works on some house projects. He’s torn up all of the carpet in the house and has been repainting the deck. When we visit Grandma Brenda’s and I change you on the couch, you like to pee everywhere! She loves you so much, as does all of your family.

We ran our first 5k together! August 7 in Binghamton, Aunt Gayle and I lined up with you in your jogger. At first I was told we couldn’t run with you, but then we saw some other moms with jogging strollers, so I ran over to Daddy and grabbed you so we could run together. It was a very hot and humid day and we didn’t set any records, but it was a lot of fun. We haven’t run a lot since then, but I’m hoping to get some more runs in this fall before it gets dark too easily and then to continue running on weekends when I have time to go during the day. You still love the stroller and are usually very content.

This month we also went to Albany to see Daddy’s cousin, Becky, get married. It was a fun trip and you were an awesome little boy during the wedding. On our way home we stopped to visit my mom, your Nana. She only met you once on our trip to Florida a few months ago, so it was nice to see her. We walked to the barn and looked at all of the big horses. One day when you’re bigger you can ride the horses, go on the wagon rides with the really big horses and even learn to ride the 4-wheelers.

We are still holding off on giving you baby food, but we’ve started to prepare by buying some organic jarred food and some whole grain cereal. We still give you fruit in your mesh teether, and you continue to love watermelon! We tried pineapple too and you really had to think about it before deciding that you liked it. Strawberries weren’t as successful, but I’m sure you’ll like them when you get older.

The big change for all of us is that you are going to start day care on September 1. We’re going with you for a while so that you can meet Norma and she can get to know you. I don’t know yet if we’ll leave you for a couple hours or if we’ll wait until the next day to leave you for a half day. Then we have a long weekend and you start full days on the following Tuesday. I know that you will be fine. You are starting to notice and be interested in other kids, and I’m glad that you’ll be spending your days in a small family day care with other young kids to play with. When you were first born it seemed like so far away, and now there are just a couple of days until you start. I’m sad that you won’t be with Daddy or I all day, since there is no one else in the entire world that could ever love you as much as we do. Daddy and I would both love to stay home with you all day, playing and having fun and taking long naps, but we have to work to pay the bills to take care of you. It is just going to make the evenings, weekends and vacations that much more special though! And I know that Daddy and I are going to be thinking about you all day long, every single day.

You are such a wonderful baby. There are moments that are hard, and you will realize this yourself when you become a dad one day, but nothing can take away from the love, joy and fulfillment you have brought to my life. You are truly the best thing that ever could have happened to Daddy and I. We love you more than you could imagine.

Love, Mommy

destroying a magazine

2011-08-26T09:17:00.000-04:00

could he be any cuter??

2011-08-23T08:04:00.001-04:00

IMG_1354, originally uploaded by di5308.

Grandpa left his hat at our house and Logan was fascinated by the color. He really seems drawn to green things.

pushups

2011-08-22T16:00:00.000-04:00

IMG_1338, originally uploaded by di5308.

he does better push ups than mama

total focus

2011-08-22T09:49:00.002-04:00

IMG_1300, originally uploaded by di5308.

these munchkin brand mesh food things are one of the best inventions ever. It's so easy for a piece of watermelon to break off, especially when Logan has the jaw strength of superman. He LOVES watermelon. He's not a big fan of strawberry (think 'lemon face') and he loves pineapple too, after thinking about it for a few minutes.

This has been a great way to introduce fruit to him. I don't really consider this "starting solids" sine he's only really sucking some fruit juice. I'm debating between baby-led weaning (which as far as I can tell is just feeding your baby tiny pieces of whatever you are eating and letting them feed themselves) or starting with spoon fed purees. I think I'm leaning toward purees just to avoid all the comments from people about choking, etc... I'm already getting plenty of comments about not giving Logan white rice cereal. I read some info about Dr. Greene's white out campaign, and it totally makes sense to me. Most likely we will start with avocado, then add in bananas and sweet potatoes.

Fun fact: Neither Eric nor I have ever tasted avocado.

sleepy baby

2011-08-21T21:39:00.002-04:00

IMG_1285-2, originally uploaded by di5308.

hiatus

2011-08-11T14:56:00.003-04:00

I'm taking a break from the blog for a bit, so I can focus on work and spending as much time as possible with Eric and Logan before we begin the back-to-school transition for Eric and the daycare transition for Logan.

my new mom project

2011-08-10T22:00:00.000-04:00

While I was on my maternity leave I started attending a New Moms Group at Jillian's Drawers. It was great to help me get out of the house and really normalize some of the feelings I was having, as well as to get advice. I attended almost every week except for the week when I was leaving for FL. But then I had to go back to work and could no longer attend the group, which was held on Wednesdays from 11:30 to 1. Last week when I had Logan's 4 month appointment, I specifically made it for a Wednesday and took the whole day off so I could go to the group and catch up with some of the moms I'd met.

There is not anything else in the area for moms who work out of the home full time. There is a group in Ithaca who has multiple activities each week and you pay a small fee to attend that helps to fund different activities for moms and kids. But when I contacted them, they said that they only allow moms who work/stay at home or who work part time. I never went to any prenatal classes, where some other moms said they formed impromptu mom groups.

So for the last week I've been working with the staff at Jillian's Drawers to set up a Mom's group that meets every other Sunday. I wasn't sure about the commitment to organize and lead a group but now that it's all set up, I'm getting really excited about it. This is a great opportunity for me to work on being more outgoing, make connections with local moms and hopefully make some good friends along the way. I'm really thankful to live so close to Jillian's Drawers. They are a great group of women and they really do so much for moms (near and far) and for the local community.

So that's my new mom project. I wouldn't mind winning the lottery so I could stay home with Logan and make it to the Wednesday group each week, but this is the next best thing I guess.

a few things...

2011-08-10T09:43:00.003-04:00

A quick note about my last post - Logan was fine. I think he just got his feet wedged in there in his sleep and it woke him up. There were no marks or redness on his feet or legs. He was instantly calmed when he saw me. But we are still getting a bumper because 5:22am is way to early for unnecessary wake ups.

Anyway... I'm kind of getting into wearing Logan. I loved to put him in the Bjorn when he was little so I could snuggle him close. He would stay asleep as I took him out of his carseat and put him in the Bjorn. Once he got older, he'd wake up so I used it less for short trips and would leave him in his carseat if he was already sleeping. But the boy is heavy and the Bjorn Active is just not supportive enough. My shoulders ache after only 10 or 20 minutes. So I did some research and tried out a few carriers through the free carrier rental at Jillians Drawers. I ended up buying a Boba and I love it! I got this one. We've tried it a few times and I absolutely love having Logan so close to me. He fits in it very well. It's one of the tallest carriers, so if gives my big baby some extra support. The fabric is so soft and smooth, it's easy to use, and so comfortable. I wore it Sunday for a while and Logan felt so light compared with wearing him in the Bjorn. I bought a new one on the boards at Diaper Swappers.

I have a new mom-related project in the works here in Ithaca that I'm so excited about, but I don't want to talk much about it until the details get worked out and I'm sure it's a go. No, I'm not pregnant and no, I'm not able to quit my job and stay home with Logan. But more details will be forthcoming.

I think I'm converting a mom at work to cloth diaper! I'm taking her a few of my diapers to show her how they work and some of the different styles. I really hope that she will give it a shot. I know she's trying to save money with 2 in day care at once, and I think she'll really like how cute the diapers are. Eric's bringing Logan to visit me at work today, so I can show them to her on him as well.

I was changing Logan on the changing table last night and he was fussy. So I pull out my go-to trick which is blowing raspberries in the air or on his belly. It worked and he started giggling and smiling. And then he did it back at me!!!!! I was floored! I had no idea he could imitate something like that at this age, I would have thought it'd be a couple more months yet. And without further ado...(The video is zoomed out a bit, so watch for him sticking his little tongue out - turning the sound up helps if you can).

It's Tuesday again... and the post where I eat my words!

2011-08-09T09:29:00.004-04:00

So when I was pregnant I read all about SIDS and what you are/aren't supposed to do with your new infant. I know the rules seem to change for every generation, but I'm not about to go against what the current recommendations are, especially since they all seemed to make sense to me. One of the big things was the crib bumper. I wasn't really into bedding or anything anyway, so this wasn't a problem for us. We just didn't get one at all. To myself, I watched in shock and full of judgement when I saw someone buying one in a store or read online about someone disregarding the no-bumper recommendation. Why would anyone go against the current recommendations that are supposed to save their baby?

Fast forward to 5:22am yesterday morning. I wake to hear Logan shrieking. Loud enough that I heard him from his room (right next to ours) over the monitor set next to my bed. It was the kind of cry that transcends exhaustion and sleep. I jumped out of bed and ran to his room. I found my boy, who I had laid down on his back in the center of his crib, balled up in one corner of the crib, on his stomach, body extended along the short side of the crib, with both of his feet stuck between the crib slats. So that's why a bumper is useful. No limbs stuck between crib slats in the wee hours of the morning. Now a breathable bumper is at the top of my shopping list.

I have a feeling we are beyond the days of Logan being in the same spot and position in his crib when he wakes up that we put him to sleep in. He's rolling from back to stomach very well and is starting to get the hang of stomach to back. He can move and rotate and scoot around much better than either Eric or I want to admit.

On the plus side, I nursed Logan back to sleep yesterday morning and he slept from 6am to 9am. I was going to nurse him again at 7:30 before I left for work, but decided not to wake him. I think he's on the back swing of a growth spurt. From last Wednesday until Sunday night he has been extra fussy at times, up every few hours during the night, napping poorly and nursing non-stop.

We finished! Kelly Labare 5k Run/Walk Recap

2011-08-08T09:00:00.004-04:00

I wrote about the jogger confusion here.

Of course Saturday night was night 3 of Logan being up multiple times in the night. I was and still am exhausted. Despite our middle of the night shenanigans, we were up at 7. I nursed Logan, ate two pieces of raisin bread toast with butter and drank some water and a diet coke (for the caffeine). I got dressed and we headed out. (Eric and I, Logan, and my sister and brother in law). It was about a 30 minute drive and we had free parking at a school a little under half a mile away. We got Logan settled in the jogger and put all of our stuff in the bottom of it. We walked to the registration booth. It was a mass of people, and there wasn't much organization. I got my registration filled out and paid my $11 dollars, but they didn't have any ones to make change from my $20, so I only ended up paying $10. Then we got out numbers on and hit the porta potty line. Because it was part of a weekend festival, there were plenty of bathrooms nearby, but only 4 by the registration booth/start area. We didn't have time to seek out less busy and possibly cleaner ones. Finally my SIL and I started walking to the back of the pack. It was 85 degrees and the humidity was 94% so I was expecting a pretty slow run. It had rained all day and night before the race, as well as within a few hours after we left the race. I was tired and sweating just standing around waiting for the start. I see a few people with regular strollers in the start area, but I didn't think too much of it. Then a woman passes me with a jogging stroller. I tell her that I don't think she is supposed to run with it, and she replies that a race official at the registration booth just told her she run with her jogger but that she had to line up at the back of the pack. I debate for about 5 seconds on whether to go get Logan and she and my SIL both tell me to get him. Thankfully Eric and my BIL hadn't gone far, and I dump the diaper bag and all of the heavy things out of the jogger and walk back to the start.

It took almost a minute to get to the start line. I'm estimating that there were about 300 runners/walkers there, possibly more. (Found out that there were 654 runners/walkers!) I started sweating immediately. I hit the first mile mark right at 11 minutes. I made it about a mile and a half before I had to walk for a little bit, but started right back up again. There was an aid station with Gatorade on the left and water on the right, but I didn't know which was which. Thankfully I realized I had grabbed Gatorade before I dumped it over my head! I had to slow to a walk to drink and then I grabbed a cup of water to dump over me. There was a tiny hill that felt like a mountain in the heat and with the jogger. Part of the route was an out and back. It was really crowded on that section and no one was getting to the right when they dropped to a walk. A lot of people had headphones and didn't hear us when we said we were coming on the left. We were pretty slow, so I imagine it would have been just awful if we were running faster. I made sure I ran as out of the way as I could, looked behind me before dropping to a walk, and there were two spots where I sped way up to dart around someone, but I let them know I was there before hand.

about 1.5 miles in...

crossing the finish line

we rocked it...

Overall we did great. It felt good to be out there and I liked that I was able to run with Logan. Clock time was 36:08 but my actual time was about a minute less than that. That's about an 11:20 min/mile pace. My goal was 11 min/mile, but with the heat and humidity, I'm just glad I finished when I did.

After the race, I sent another email stating that it was quite ridiculous that on the race day people were being told they could run with a jogging stroller and how many mixed messages were given. I got a reply back stating that no one associated with the race ever told anyone that strollers were allowed. That's a flat out lie, since she responded to my initial email in July stating that I could run with it.

Next up is the Celtic 5k August 28. Hopefully it won't be a humid. I'm not sure if I can take Logan with me in that race or not, but I'm going to email to find out.

I'm so mad right now!!!!

2011-08-06T10:37:00.001-04:00

So after everything, I get an email from a race organizer of the Kelly LeBarre 5K saying that they changed their mind and will not allow me to run with a jogging stroller. They couldn't have told me this with more than 24 hours left to go until the race? Eric decided to go with us so he can be with Logan while we are running. I'm contemplating playing stupid and just seeing what happens. I was planning to register tomorrow, so maybe I'll just do that and line up at the back with the jogger anyway. I'll have Eric nearby in case they make me ditch the stroller, but maybe no one will say anything? Is that an awful thing to do? We'd get in the very back of the pack and we run pretty slow anyway, so I can't imagine we'd be passing very many people at all. I probably won't try it. I'm just angry that they would respond to an email saying that I could run with Logan, and then with less than 24 hours notice, tell me that I can't. If I got there tomorrow without knowing I'd have to sit out of the race! It's just really unprofessional and poor organization.

And to top it all off, the next 36 hours are rain, rain, thunderstorms, and more rain!

four miles

2011-08-05T11:28:00.000-04:00

Logan and I before our run.

Last night I got in 4 miles with Logan in the jogger. The loop at the local park is 2 miles, so I did it once in each direction. I took a few short walk breaks in there and took a break at the half way point when I met up with Eric to show him how to jog with the stroller and how to turn it while running. I wasn't keeping close track of time. I have absolutely no idea where I'll be pace-wise for Sunday's 5k - could be 10 min miles or could be 11:30 min miles. It's not a huge concern for me, but I wish I had a ball park idea. I am running the whole race with my sister in law, but she cut 3 minutes off her run (2.5 miles I think) so I have no idea where she will be pace-wise either! It is fun doing this together though and having someone else to help motivate.

The last few run Eric has walked with the jogger while I ran. It definitely makes a difference to run with it, but I think it's partly due to two issues: annoying sweaty hands and my stroller pulling to the left. I have an email in to Baby Jogger to help me figure it out. It doesn't pull a lot, but just enough to be annoying on a strait section.

How Logan feels after sleeping through 3.8 miles of a 4 mile run. Mommy was red-face and breathing hard, not to mention sweaty!

confession

2011-08-04T11:46:00.001-04:00

IMG_1191, originally uploaded by di5308.

Logan loves the TV! (He staring at it in this picture.) I hate the he likes it, but the colors and pictures on the screen just captivate him. He especially loves the weather radar maps. There is quite a bit of mommy guilt about this, but Eric and I just haven't gotten out of the habit of having it on in the background. As Logan has become more interactive, we have shut it off more and more, and many nights we are out and about in the evenings, but it was on a lot in the background while I was home with Logan and I'm pretty sure it's on a lot now while Logan is home with Eric all day. We really need to work on that. We do have a rule though, that once Logan starts solids, we are eating all dinners at the table with no TV on and no phone calls. We have been in the habit of eating in the living room in front of the TV because our apartment didn't have a dining area or a table until just before we moved out and the dining room in our new house is really closed off and dark. We've done some rearranging, so now what was the dining room is becoming an office/3rd bedroom and we are moving the dining room table to the sunroom. It is so light and open in there and we have an incredible view. We need to work harder at turning it off and spending more time outside or doing other things together.

Doesn't Logan look adorable in his clementine flip diaper? I'm pretty sure Eric did the last diaper change though, since it should be snapped one snap tighter on both sides.

hanging with grandma

2011-08-04T11:34:00.001-04:00

IMG_1199, originally uploaded by di5308.

Logan has met my mom before, but only briefly during the trip to FL we took when he was 5 weeks old. We finally were able to arrange a visit and spent a few hours at my mom's last weekend. Logan LOVED the black dots on her blue swim suit and staring at the huge draft horses when we walked to the barn.